How I Survived a Massacre That Never Happened

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I attribute my miraculous survival during that horrific and nonexistent massacre to three factors:

1.) God’s everlasting mercy.

2.) My stubborn will to live.

3.) The massacre never happened.

While I can’t overemphasize the role God’s good grace played in my survival nor my own fearless will to live, but the fact that the massacre never occurred played an instrumental role in my surviving it.

Because if the massacre had actually happened, there’s a chance I might not be here today.

The lack of guns, and subsequent bullets coming out of those guns, were crucial not only to my survival but the survival of everyone else during that terrifying and completely imaginary massacre.

I must thank the Muslim men who did not perpetrate this appalling attack on US soil. Because if they had, who knows how many lives would’ve been lost.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t extend a heartfelt thanks to all the right-wing extremists who chose not to commit mass murder that day. For — if the massacre had actually occurred — it is far more likely that the gunmen or bombers would’ve been US citizens with political views much closer to our current administration than foreign terrorists.

So if you ever find yourself caught in a nonexistent massacre, don’t panic. Keep your head down. Find the nearest escape route. And keep telling yourself:

This isn’t happening. This never happened. It’s all a lie.

For the real danger of nonexistent massacres lies in their ability to mask real massacres. They make us fearful of fictitious events in favor of advancing agendas that not only hurt some of the most vulnerable in our population, they disgrace everything we stand for. They divert our attention away from actual atrocities in order to give credence to unscrupulous actions that will make real-life terrorist attacks and genuine loss of life ever more likely.

But the most common victims of nonexistent massacres are the truth and our ability to recognize it. Every fake terrorist and false gunman is a mass murderer of reason and understanding.

Yet I will be forever grateful to God, in His infinite wisdom, for sparing me and everyone else from this nonexistent massacre.

I pray it never happens again.

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