If you vote, you just might be a robot. I have the math to prove it.

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If you’re American, there’s a good chance you are not going to vote in the upcoming presidential election. In 2016, only 58% of the electorate actually voted. Compared to other democracies, voter turnout in the United States doesn’t even break the top 20. Americans just don’t vote. And it’s been that way since the early 1900s.

So what’s going on?

Well, first of all, let’s do some math to prove that you shouldn’t ever vote.

Here’s an equation for you:

PB + D > C

Where “P” is the probability your vote will affect the outcome of the election.

“B” is the benefits of a favorable outcome. …


At the height of its success, there were over 9,000 Blockbusters around the world. Now there is only one.

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At one point in Earth’s history, Blockbusters inhabited every continent on the planet except Antarctica. At their peak, the Blockbuster population was over 9,000 and their bright blue and yellow plumage was a common sight in cities around the world.

The brand first arose in Texas — through the unlikely hybridization of a data company with a video store. It’s distinctive coloration appeared almost immediately and made it an eye-catching sight in its native habitat, but it was its knack for adaptability that set it apart from the competition.

Blockbuster wasn’t the first video store. By the time it appeared in the fossil record, the video rental industry was already a crowded ecosystem. But with a large inventory of videos and the ability to stock its shelves with titles that most appealed to the humans of the area (its main source of prey), Blockbuster could tailor itself to almost any retail environment. This amazing adaptability allowed Blockbusters to spread out from Texas and across the North American continent. …


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In 2005, an infectious disease killed thousands all over the world — World of Warcraft, that is. Even though it wasn’t real, the Corrupted Blood Incident has been used a model for real pandemics — including this one.

Scientists traced the origin of the plague to the vast and remote jungles of Stranglethorn Vale. The outbreak began in the troll city of Zul’Gurub, unknowingly carried back to the four corners of Azeroth by brave bands of unstoppable heroes. They may be some of the mightiest warriors in all the land, but they were not immune to this plague. They had contracted it while vanquishing the fearsome Blood God, Hakkar the Soulflayer. Soon much of the realm would be infected with Corrupted Blood. Untold numbers would die.

The scientists observed with great fascination that the disease did not remain localized within the lair of the Blood God, as it should have been. Cases soon emerged in the dense population centers of Azeroth. It swept through packed marketplaces, ale houses, and inns — leaving the streets littered with the bones of the dead. …


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How long can a Twinkie REALLY last?

If we could step outside the universe and somehow inspect its packaging, we’d find a shelf life of something on the order of a 100 trillion years. After that, all the heat in the universe will be exhausted. Life and all energetic processes will hit their thermodynamic expiration dates. But long before that, our Sun’s nuclear fuel tank will be running on fumes. The outer layers of our star will peel off into the inner solar system, vaporizing Mercury, Venus, and most likely the Earth. No worries though. We will be long gone. …


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And Helped Beat The Nazis.

150 hot meals an hour. 20 million meals nationwide. Delivered while navigating an active war zone. They called it a mobile canteen — belying its military status. It looks like any delivery truck you’ve ever seen.

But this was the first of its kind. The primordial pizza delivery. Amazon Prime prime. The big bang of modern culinary convenience, born of necessity, forged in battle

This was the first food delivery.

Of course, food has been delivered since ancient times — whether it be by horseback or on foot. But the modern idea of a coordinated system that allows a hot meal to be delivered via a midsize sedan to a specific address in as little time as possible has only been in the works for 80 years now. …


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Because they were slaves.

In 1725, there were no elephants in America. Not anymore anyway. So when enslaved Africans found gigantic teeth buried in a swamp on the Stono Plantation in South Carolina, the white owners thought they must come from giants wiped out during the biblical flood. That’s what they told the English naturalist, Mark Catesby, who came all the way from the mother country to view these mysterious teeth. The Africans told him otherwise.

They had come from the Congo or Angola. No one knows for sure. But nevertheless, they came from Africa, and in 1725, Africa still had plenty of elephants. The slaves knew elephants and they knew elephant teeth when they saw them. …


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You don’t want to kill anyone. It’s not really your style. But the urge hits you as a call to adventure of sorts. It begins as an amorphous desire to shake up the relentless monotony of your life and resolves itself as something sweet and frosted, and possibly jelly-filled.

You realize — with growing dread — that the time has come to acquire donuts.

And that means you might kill someone.

In the ancient past (approximately 60+ days ago), acquiring donuts was a simple proposition. You went and got donuts. There wasn’t much more to it. How you did it didn’t really matter as long as donuts were acquired in as a quick and efficient manner as possible. …


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Experts predicted a computer apocalypse in the year 2000. But nothing happened. Did a multibillion dollar global effort save us or was it all a waste of time and money?

20 years ago, our world almost came crashing down. Financial markets were preparing for an economic meltdown. Countries around the globe were bracing for a worldwide shutdown.

All because of a bug.

The bug was a computer error. Experts had warned about it for years. Called the Year 2000 problem, or Y2K, it threatened to bring our newly computerized civilization to its knees.

That’s not what happened, of course.

So was it overblown? Or did a handful of concerned scientists and a multibillion dollar preventative effort save us from digital armageddon?

Depends on who you ask and we might never truly know. …


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The Waffle House fast food chain is legendary for never closing — even in the worst of weather. But how is it doing up against a pandemic?

When one of the most powerful storm systems the Earth’s atmosphere can summon is bearing down on a populated area, it’s customary for a typical roadside fast food chain to close up shop and wait for the storm to pass.

But not Waffle House.

A Waffle House never closes. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Some say the doors on a Waffle House don’t even have locks.

Of course there are many all-night diners inhabiting the interstate highways of America. …


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Having children might be one of the worst things you can do for the environment.

For the past year and a half, I’ve had the pleasure of being the proud custodian of a beautiful, dynamic, and perpetually curious young human.

And I feel pretty rotten about it.

Here’s why:

Humans are causing climate change. In fact, a single human, living in a western-style developed country like me, contributes somewhere on the order of 20 tons of CO2 to the atmosphere every year. On average.

Adding another human means more CO2 emissions.

So instead of a bundle of joy, my child might be no less than a toddling ecological disaster.

So by having a child, am I contributing to the further destruction of the planet? …

About

Matt J Weber 🤖

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